Friday, December 16, 2005

Stocking Fellas

Marks and Spencer have come up with a solution for the hordes of men who are too embarrassed or too inept or too lazy to buy the right lingerie for their wife/girlfriend/ secretary/themselves at this ‘festive time’ – the Stocking Fella.

M&S report that tonnes of lingerie gets returned to their stores in January, presumably because women were presented with items that either didn’t fit or they don’t like. So they’ve trained guys to help pick out the perfect pair of pants based on a simple questionnaire about the woman’s personality. Are you sassy [=psychotic]? Flirty [=a tart]? Modern [=43 but dress like a 17 year old]? Glamorous [=overly made up]?

The problem with M&S’s lingerie department is that it combines frilly, lacy, floral garments called things like ‘The Balcony Range’ with those ultra control anti-cellulite pants that have the colour and consistency of a bunion pad. It’s disconcerting to be looking at Brazilian panties and then see a pair of beige control pants that would come up right under your bust.

Urgh.


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